The Uninvited

There are times when having a guest drop in on you can be a delight. You’ve had some forewarning that they were coming. There was some time to prepare your home for company, and you looked forward to the visit with eager anticipation. The guest arrives. Together you spend some stimulating and interesting hours. Perhaps you share a meal and a glass of wine. Then, as all good guests eventually do, they leave before they’ve worn out their welcome.

Such was not the case with Irene.

No one wanted her to come. She was not invited to our home. A most rude guest, she sent an advanced team hours before her arrival to be certain we were well aware of her intended visit. Even before the advance team began pelting us with hints of what was to come, we made extensive changes to our daily lives in order to make her appearance as palatable as humanly possible.

Our best outdoor furniture was secured. Flags of our allegiance certainly were removed from the standard holders by the front door, to be stored lest Irene snatch them away. She had already established a reputation of doing things like that. In fact, we had a relation of Irene’s storm on by two years ago. She had robbed a floral seat pillow from one of our wicker chairs. This left us with only three out of four, essentially ruining the set. I still haven’t gotten over it.

In case Irene might take it literally we removed the welcome plaque, which decorated one of the porch pillars, and hid it in the garage. We checked, then checked again all around the yard assuring ourselves that Irene didn’t find anything outside that she could toss around during a gusty temper tantrum. She could be such a bitch.

We had been forewarned that she might hang around for more than a day, but that didn’t diminish my anxiety. If she must come I was hoping on a short uneventful stop by.

And so she came. With all the promised bluster and roar. We tried to wait out her visit with good humor and an assist from alcohol. She did her best to disrupt our lives, but apparently we were ready for her. After a good long time and a few declarations of a possible return Irene finally bounded away. Good riddance.

While cleaning up her mess we realized she hadn’t come empty handed. Up in the sky was a promise. An exquisite double rainbow left by our uninvited guest. Stay happy, stay heathy. Wait until you meet my brother!